And They Were 3

  Hello Hugo, it's been a while. How are you? I've been grappling with loneliness lately. Despite living in a bustling city with a home, a car, and a motorcycle, I find myself with only a handful of true friends. It feels like everyone is distant, and I struggle to connect with others. Starting conversations often leads to disinterest, and it seems like nobody cares about my problems. My current job demands focus and top-notch customer service. Resolving on-site issues is crucial, impacting lives, jobs, meetings, and holidays. Ironically, it keeps me distracted, but the loneliness persists. Reflecting on dismissive attitudes in the past, I realize I may have made others feel the way I do now – irrelevant to their future. The prevalence of online posts showcasing perfect lives exacerbates this sense of isolation. I seldom contribute, only capturing special moments with my daughter. Navigating life alone, I experience both sadness and joy. The loneliness is palpable, especially w...

Hello again, Thank you for being here. In this ongoing journey of self-reflection, I find solace in the act of putting my thoughts into words. Whether anyone else reads this or not, the significance lies in my own understanding. For those familiar with my blog, you're aware of the ongoing battle with what I would describe as mild depression—a struggle manifesting through tears, feelings of profound sadness, frustration, and a lack of ambition or motivation. On the days when my little daughter isn't with me, I often find myself retreating home after work. I shut out external light, creating a space for introspection or immersing myself in online content to escape. This week, reality hit hard. The person with whom I shared the last 12 years has chosen to move forward, making life-altering decisions independently. For context, I left our shared home in 2017, and the subsequent year saw our divorce unfold during an attempted reconciliation—yes, life's ironic twists. Shared cust...

 My last post was about something that was about to happen and it didn't. I was about to make life-changing decisions that would have an impact on this triangle of a family.  In the end, it didn't happen, it seems that finding an apartment without a job it's something of a task. At the same time a dancing studio accepted me as a Karate teacher and I've started given classes to little kids. The decision to stay in Madrid was becoming clearer. But the reasons for staying where far from simple.  I was having conversations with my ex-wife for us to move to the south of Spain, but it didn pan out,  the first option was for me to move by myself for a few months and sort of scout the area , and then my daughter and my ex-wife would make the final move. I was not convinced that she would do that, I was not getting any luck with my apartment search and at the end everything crumbled down. We did not move, we all stayed in Madrid, the company that I've worked for over a year ...

Hi! It's me again! I've been away for a while. I don't feel like writing, I don't feel like exercising, I don't feel like feeling... This mid-life crisis shit is taking a tool and I'm not sure what to do.  Over the years I've had conversations with some friends that live in the south of Spain about moving there and change my life forever. Living in the same city for nearly 22 years it's becoming tired. The fact that the last 5 years have been hellish emotionally also doesn't help.  My ex-wife and I have been trying to save whatever last bit of love that we can find inside of us to continue a very dysfunctional and uninterested relationship for the sake of our daughter. We love our daughter and we want to create a stable environment for us 3 to be in.  We know that we can't have a normal relationship, but we keep trying and trying and it hurts. But for some reason, we keep doing it and getting hurt in the process. Our therapist says that it's ...

 Hello there, it's two in the morning, and I'm wide awake! It's Friday, and  I'm wondering what to do. Should I stay up a while longer or go to bed? It's Friday evening. I should be out going crazy and having a good time, right? Well, it's not a thing I would normally do for those who know me very well, and under the circumstances, even less inclined to do it.  It's been a year of transformation, adaptation and it seems that it is frozen in time. Since this pandemic has been around us, there has been no "normal" again, whatever "normal" meant anyway.  The people I've met and worked with for the last 8 years are not present anymore. Maybe they have never been, to be honest, we would just get along as it seems. Probably the foundations were not strong enough, and after leaving, they just crumbled.  It's hard to think that sharing your life with the people who are with you would create bonds and the intimacy to become good friends fo...

 I was never a political kind of guy, haven't voted in many years, don't see the point of voting in people one doesn't believe in and don't trust.  One might argue that the voting process has been one of struggle and of personal sacrifices.  Living in modern times, we tend to take out the importance of many things that are basic rights and obligations as citizens and become stagnant and stop doing things that are inconvenient or could affect our Sunday brunches.  The process of voting is time-consuming and should be changed to make it easier to vote. Nowadays we have so many things that can be done using our phones and our pcs, some systems can be applied to ensure the safety of voting our representatives. If we can present our taxes online, why can't we vote online? But I digress. My point today is about the distrust of the political community and their agendas.  Over the years, we've seen an increase of right-wing movements crawling up in the political theater...

 It's hard for me to recognize this world we are living in.  As you grow up, the things that shape your reality keep changing, either through your experiences or your environment, the people you meet, the jobs you take, the trips you make, your relationships. Everything becomes an experience and also expands your learning curve.   I grew up in a small town on the outskirts of Lisbon. I played a lot on the street with my friends; it was a challenge and a learning opportunity every day. Older kids bullied us, and we assumed that that was normal.  Through those interactions, I've learned the hard way; I've learned how to hide and run away from danger. My senses were very acute when it came to detecting danger, like a spider-sense kind of thing.  My school was nearby, and we could walk there with no problems; it was a safe path. Nowadays, we drive our children to school and pick them up the same way. Kids that live in big cities will never experience walking to...