Summer Time

Hi! It's me again!

I've been away for a while.

I don't feel like writing, I don't feel like exercising, I don't feel like feeling...

This mid-life crisis shit is taking a tool and I'm not sure what to do. 

Over the years I've had conversations with some friends that live in the south of Spain about moving there and change my life forever. Living in the same city for nearly 22 years it's becoming tired. The fact that the last 5 years have been hellish emotionally also doesn't help. 

My ex-wife and I have been trying to save whatever last bit of love that we can find inside of us to continue a very dysfunctional and uninterested relationship for the sake of our daughter. We love our daughter and we want to create a stable environment for us 3 to be in. 

We know that we can't have a normal relationship, but we keep trying and trying and it hurts. But for some reason, we keep doing it and getting hurt in the process. Our therapist says that it's obvious that there is love, we love each other but there is no trust. can this be solved, can we come out of this?

So, where does this all connect with the beginning of my conversation? 

We talked about moving together to the south,  we spent a week together there during the summer holidays so we could have a taste of what it looks like living there. We spent a great time and we came back with the will and determination of packing and leaving. 

I think that traveling to the south of Spain and spending time under the sun and close to the sea brings some emotions of happiness, and you really wish to live there all the time. It's like when you get a summer fling and you think you're in love, then it fades away when you get back to your normal life. This happened to me I think. I've started looking for places to live, couldn't find anything that interested me. 


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