And They Were 3

What does Ta Moko mean? Ta Moko is the permanent marking of the body or face practiced by the Maori, the indigenous people from New Zealand.  Its practice has changed over the years, now it's done using a tattoo machine, but in the old days, bones or a stone chisel were used to cut the surface of the skin and then a pigment was applied to the cuts.  Moko formed an important part of the visual culture and identity of Maori and was a rite of passage for both men and women. It was also a source of identity. This idea of tattooing my body has been around my head for many years. The last 5 or 6 was when I really started figuring out what I wanted to do. I decided that I wanted a tribal style tattoo, but hadn't landed on the Maori style yet.   When my daughter was about to be born, I realized that I wanted a style that could be translated into the symbolism of birth, family, strength, hardship, overcoming difficulties.  That's when I started to investigate it and foun...

As I write these lines, 96 days of confinement have gone by and I've been struggling with the ordeals of wearing masks every time I'm in a public place, emotional ups and downs and not knowing what's going to happen in the months ahead.  Since March 14th the Spanish government imposed a State of Emergency to deal with a pandemic never seen in the modern age that affected and still is affecting the lives of millions of people not only here but all over the world.  Jobs have been wasted and lives have been lost to this virus. The current reality of the worldwide economy is uncertain and the world as we knew it, no longer exists.  Governments talk about the new reality all the time, the population is being educated to this new vocabulary.  I recently started watching a tv show called "The Handmaids Tale". The plot revolves around the premise of some sort of pandemic, in this case, sexually transmitted diseases that consequently had an impact on fertility. A new milit...

The title says that! I'm back!  Back from what?  Well, back to writing that's a first. To going back to sleep at decent hours and waking up at 4 in the morning! Trying to be productive and jump-start the day! That's what the pundits say that we should do to be successful  To try and make some sense out of what's going on. Not knowing what the future holds.  To starting doing exercise and feel better about myself in a while.  My last post was on March 25th and ever since I've become more numb to the current situation. Going through different emotional stages, from anger to tiredness, frustration, to little moments of happiness and joy.  People have been struggling out there, there are people losing their jobs, starving and I'm complaining that I'm going through different stages of grief. Well, suck it up! Because I'm actually pretty fortunate. There is food on my table every day. I have a beautiful daughter that lights me up every day. I can go out now an...

It's been 11 days of lockdown here in Madrid. Although the government did not officially announce it on March 14. We have been confined at home, only to go out for basics, like groceries, for work, to take your pets out. We cannot go out for walks, do exercise, and everything else that does not apply to the established State of Emergency protocols. Things one has always taken for granted have been stripped away by the government due to the circumstances, but it makes you think, doesn't it? All the countries one knows have authoritarian regimes or dictatorships live under these circumstances every day of their single lives. Stripped away from their freedoms and freedom of speech and free-thinking, we take things for granted in free countries. The current situation has imposed a social distancing that some experts have expressed concerns in the past, referring to the adverse effects of social networks and it's addiction to modern society. Now everybody is confined, ...

I was talking the other day with one of my old-time friends. We came together to Spain for work. He was recalling the time he started at the company he is still working for after 22 years!! Wow. Congratulations!! He was telling his students that when we started back in 1998, we were still handling stuff pretty manually. The fax was still a thing to send copies of documents and proof of payment. We were collecting payments over the phone with credit card data flying around. We would send documentation to clients via paper mail. Everything was still paper. We were a small team, we were all in our 20s, and we were happy. We were very good at what we did, and we had fun while doing it. So rare these days. Every time I hear people talking about work, they just complain and complain. I cherish the moments we laughed so hard only by looking at each other's faces. We were in the middle of the transition to electronic. The online business model was bubbling, and our role as salespe...

The fear of dying has never been so much in my thoughts as it is now. The fear that something may happen, some kind of disease that will put you down. When you have kids, something changes inside of you. Your protective instincts increase by 10 fold, and it is exhausting, living in fear that something may happen to your kids. Since I've been dropping Olivia at kindergarten the guilt of leaving your kid, so little, so defenseless, crying, and clinching to my arms every time I had to leave her before going to work, it was the worst feeling! Ever! The teachers would tell me that after a while, she was already fine and happy playing with the other kids. With that idea, I left every morning feeling less guilty, less worried that some strangers would take care of your child for the next seven or 8 hours, but that tiny little tear on the corner of your eye is there. And as you move along the halls, you try to put on a straight face, but it doesn't matter, because everyone knows. And...

Traveling to my hometown is somewhat traveling back in time.  I like to go for breakfast at a place right across the street from my parent's house.  They make the most buttery toasts you'll ever have.  The other thing is that I'll end up meeting someone from the past.  Either a friend, a neighbor, every single face is a page of the history of my past life.  The conversations are usually concise. Most people don't recognize me.  I sometimes have to remind them of who I am. It's normal, I've been away for 20 years and visit my hometown a few times a year. A lot of things have changed, the people have changed, they're older!  Some have passed away.  It's melancholic to come back. It also creates some temptation of coming back due to the familiarity, the sense of routine.  I was going through many old photos of me in my fourteens up until my nineteens when I realized that I had that part of my life completely blocked from my memories. There were...