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Running on Empty at 7:39 a.m.

The challenges of being unemployed. The challenges of being out of a job. I’m now sipping a cup of coffee from the espresso machine that is placed on top of a shelf, now sitting at the back of the living room. I’m writing these words at 07:39 a.m., Madrid. They don’t really make sense. Yesterday I recorded a video, not sure if I want to post it or not. It’s about the challenges of being out of a job, getting older, and being a single dad. The obstacles of leaving the family home, living by myself, with an eight-month-old baby. The volume on that video was very low, and I’ll probably not publish it. I woke up at 5:30 a.m. I’ve been waking up at that time every single day for the past couple of weeks. Some days even earlier. I’m trying to keep physically active, going out on my mountain bike that I managed to restore. It belonged to my father. I keep saying this, not sure why, as if it adds meaning, considering I didn’t have a close relationship with my father. But it was his bike, and m...
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Il Capucino - Specialty Coffee in the Heart of Toledo

Today, I had the opportunity to visit a specialty coffee shop in Toledo, and it was a pleasure meeting Andrea—an Italian who likely opened the first specialty coffee shop in the city. Since 2013, he has been serving great coffee to both tourists and locals. One of the things that caught my attention was how he treats each customer. Whether a local or a tourist, he explains every single beverage he can prepare with a smile and a thank you. Andrea has a unique vision for this kind of business. He works alone, with no help, allowing him to balance family time with work—something unusual in this industry. We managed to talk for a few hours while he served me a doppio made with Ethiopian beans—it tasted wonderful! At the beginning of our conversation, I sensed he was measuring me up, trying to gauge how much I knew about specialty coffee. Baristas, when they realize the person in front of them knows the craft, sometimes feel a bit uncomfortable, as if they are being tested. But the truth...
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Farewell

I'm watching Californication again—it's been a while. The character Hank Moody is a helpless, lost man who is still in love with the mother of his child. He struggles to write and find inspiration, and he seeks consolation by sleeping with other women to ease his pain. I do not want to compare my life with that of such a famous character; my personal life is not that interesting. Still, I see some similarities in Hank's behavior—especially in the way he manages to screw up his life and beat himself down with regret for letting his partner go. A couple of months ago, I received a farewell email. It was unexpectedly painful; I did not anticipate such a surge of emotion. It was devastating—I cried and sobbed as if I had lost someone I would never see again, as if someone very close to me had passed away. The thing is, my relationship had been strenuous from the beginning, and I always felt controlled. But that was entirely my fault. I allowed that behavior to become the norm i...
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Ubiquitous

Hello again, it's great to be here. I hope you're doing well. New challenges are on the horizon for me. I'll be starting a new job next week, and as always, with the beginning of a new job comes a mix of nervousness and expectations. My previous company was a great place to work. There was plenty of flexibility with schedules, and I was part of a fantastic team. However, as time went on, I began to feel increasingly irrelevant within the team. It seemed like my opinions weren't being heard, or perhaps I wasn't assertive enough in expressing them. This struggle is something I've faced time and time again. I find it challenging to make myself heard in large groups, and I often struggle to convey my ideas and opinions effectively. As time passed, I felt like I was becoming a shadow - always present, but easily overlooked. Shadows are ubiquitous, yet how often do we truly notice them? When the spotlight isn't shining or when there's no light, shadows fade in...
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Do We Really Need Another Upgrade?

Hello again, it's me! Thanks for being here. Today, I'm reflecting on a topic that's currently hot in the tech community, inspired by the latest Snazzy Labs video. The narrative that Apple's silicon magic is over is gaining traction. What does this mean? It appears that other chip manufacturers are stepping up to challenge Apple by creating new chips that promise better performance while maintaining low power consumption. Over my eight years working at an Apple store, I've witnessed firsthand how tech companies prioritize return on investment over consumer needs. Apple, for instance, has notoriously removed ports from its devices, forcing users to buy expensive dongles. This disregard for user convenience and the push for sleek design over functional performance—like removing SD card slots crucial for photographers and videographers—shows a lack of care for the end user. Moreover, these engineering choices have practical implications. Technicians inside the stores h...
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Baptism and family reunion

As I sit in this chair, as I do every day, savoring my coffee and reflecting on my life, I find myself reminiscing about my niece's baptism. It took place during the Easter weekend when I traveled to Switzerland with my daughter, and we spent the week there enjoying family time. I do not share the values of Christianity and for me, this process is somewhat painful to endure. I hadn't experienced such quality family time in ages. This past year has granted me the opportunity to reconnect with my sister and nephews, and my daughter has cherished moments shared with her cousins. Perhaps, this is the most significant takeaway from it all - spending time with family; listening to laughter, enduring the chaos of children running around, and witnessing the not-so-young navigate through puberty and the resulting isolation from everyone and everything. During our childhood, there were times when we would visit our aunts or grandparents, and there was always a family member present. I ch...
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Christmas trip

Welcome back! I hope you and your family are well. As the festivities fade, reality resumes with school and work commuting. Embracing the streets of Madrid in my sales role, I find joy in exploring lesser-known corners. Spent Christmas holidays  in Portugal and Switzerland, a mix of serenity and challenges. Traveling with my daughter and ex-wife revealed complexities. Avoiding her since June became challenging during the holidays, testing my ability to normalize our relationship. While she attempts closeness, I struggle to move forward from the divorce. The idea of seeking someone new feels like betrayal, and I'm still grieving. The recent trip stirred unresolved emotions and lingering grudges, highlighting the difficulty of letting go. Upon returning, my daughter and I traveled to Switzerland to visit my family. The days were delightful until the return journey. Opting for an upgrade enhanced our trip back, making it much more enjoyable. Returning from Switzerland, the upgraded tr...
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