A New Chapter: My Experience of Becoming a Father

Hello again! Still there? Well, I’ve decided to give it another go and write a little more about myself and my quirks (lol, little).

Parenthood and Life: What Does That Mean?

For me, parenthood wasn’t part of my plan for a big chunk of my younger life. I later realized that this was partly because I hadn’t found the right person - someone I could trust to be the mother of my children. Having a child was something I never expected and I had no idea how much it would impact my life. I always had a vague idea of what becoming a father would be like and how hard it would be.

My daughter was born three years ago and she was such a beautiful baby. She looked like a porcelain doll with smooth skin that glowed from all the fluids still in her skin. And then the nurses brought her to me and asked if I wanted to hold her. Puff! What a feeling! I immediately realized that she was my responsibility. I was so overwhelmed that it didn’t seem real. I felt like I was experiencing an out-of-body thing and went into auto mode, just reacting and paying close attention to what the doctors and nurses were saying.

The minutes before the delivery were also strange. I was waiting in a room by myself with something playing on the TV, but I wasn’t paying attention. I had never been in such a situation before and started getting nervous. I began thinking about things that could go wrong in the delivery room but tried to push those thoughts out of my mind. The brain is very powerful and sometimes we can send the wrong messages to the universe.

So I waited a few minutes before entering the delivery room. The doctors were prepping my wife and one of them approached me to ask if I was okay and ready to go in. He also asked if I was feeling strong enough since it seems that many dads pass out during delivery! I told him yes, that I was feeling strong enough.It seems that many dads pass out during delivery! I told the doctor that I was feeling strong and ready, but in reality, I wasn’t. I don’t think anything can fully prepare you for this experience. I watched the delivery process - it wasn’t a natural delivery because the baby hadn’t turned and had to be taken out through a c-section. In my mind, this was a more straightforward procedure than delivering naturally, but my wife disagreed. It was a painful procedure and they don’t do it gently. They cut, go in, and take the baby out. The recovery takes time and leaves a scar.

But there she was - a beautiful little girl! Healthy and beautiful. We were happy and we were three!

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